


"What Happens After This?"

by mxPerditus



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kingsman Spoilers, M/M, Post-Kingsman: The Secret Service, alcohol mention, suffering Eggsy is my new kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-06 23:45:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12828681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxPerditus/pseuds/mxPerditus
Summary: The gravity of what happened just hours ago settles in as Eggsy tries to return to a life without Harry.The title is part of a conversation I imagine Eggsy having with Merlin after what happens at Valentine's.





	"What Happens After This?"

**Author's Note:**

> I named Eggsy's sister Sam in this fic since it turns out Daisy isn't her name (even though it suits her so well). I think Sam / Samantha is a suitable replacement
> 
> also this can be a pre-relationship Harry and Eggsy fic if you squint
> 
> >> Edit: Someone has just told me Daisy is in fact her real name (according to the Kingsman novelisation) so I've changed it to Daisy! Sorry for the confusion, yall

The world is as safe as it’ll be for the time being. The events that transpired that day feel like a lifetime ago even though it had only been a handful of hours.

When Roxy and Eggsy go back to the Kingsman base with Merlin, Merlin takes stock of which Kingsmen are left. It turns out only a handful had agreed to Valentine’s plans (unfortunately including Arthur) so treason wasn’t a threat just yet.

As the adrenaline of the day wears off, it leaves the sickening void of sorrow that only loss can bring.

Merlin looks like he’s holding together well but it’s hard for Eggsy to not notice the new bottles of alcohol that occupy the corners of Merlin’s desk.

 

Eggsy doesn’t use his Kingsman training outside of work after he saves the world (only once to show Dean up and scare off his goons, and then once again for something menial that he _really_  shouldn’t have gotten involved in) but he tries to follow Kingsman’s rules, which means no harming civilians with his skills unless it’s necessary.

His mum and little sister move into their new house, and his mum looks happier than she has in ages.

Daisy likes the new place as well. He finds her staring out the large windows overlooking the city at least twice a day, usually before he carries her into the dining room to feed her. Daisy grows more every time he sees her and she looks a bit like his mum now (if she was a five year old, that is).

 

He visits Harry’s grave one day when the sun is blotted out and the rain refuses to stop falling. It’s almost night and there isn’t anyone else there but Eggsy. He thinks he can hear Harry’s words floating to his ears on the wind.

He swallows the pain and he continues on.

 

Eggsy’s job is challenging to commit to but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t glad to be there.

He loves the thrill, the adrenaline rush and the sense of duty. And he wants to make Merlin and Roxy proud.

Roxy is adjusting to her new position well. She and Eggsy talk on their breaks over paperwork and case files with Merlin sitting not too far away. Her dog, Maddie, lies on the chair beside her or sleeps near her feet most days.

Eggsy gets off of work early one day and decides to pay Harry’s grave a visit. He brings a bottle of brandy and sits in front of his grave, reading a book of poems he brought and talks to Harry even though he knows Harry can’t hear him. He’s dead of course, but Eggsy needs someone to talk to.

He can imagine Harry’s responses, a subtle nod or a roll of eyes here and there as Eggsy rambles and vents and laughs.

After that, it becomes habit to visit when he has the time. It’s a constant in his hectic, exciting life. It’s silly, he thinks, that he can almost feel Harry’s presence like a warm blanket around him and it helps him through the countless lonely nights.

It’s a struggle to convince himself to continue every day but he does it for his little sister.

He does it for JB, who would miss his morning walks and Eggsy’s warm legs on chilly mornings.

He does it for his biological dad, who would be proud his son followed in his footsteps. He does it for his mum who deserves everything he can offer her and more.

And more than he’d like to admit, he does it for Harry.

He regrets what he said to Harry every day and every day it seems like the hole in his heart burns deeper. He tells himself he has to accept it and move on or it will end him.

He knows this but it’s harder said than done.

On one particular day, Eggsy looks more haggard than usual and he brings whiskey and two glasses to Harry’s grave. He talks unendingly, voice thick from frustration until he finally stops, choking on tears and he hangs his head and lets himself cry. He doesn’t think about the throbbing pain in his heart or the biting chill of the wind.

It’s silly, he thinks, that he can almost feel a comforting hand on his shoulder.


End file.
